I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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