I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
