Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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