She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
