What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
