Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
