you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
