Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
