So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
