They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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