she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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