What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
