Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
