STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
