Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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