i permit you to call me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
