I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
