craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
