Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
