OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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