Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
