And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
