bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
