Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
