im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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