But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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