Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
