girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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