Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We have so much sex to catch up on
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
