This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
