New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
