hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
