I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
