do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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