You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
