Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
