i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
