weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
