fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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