its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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