If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
