why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
