Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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