; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
