Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
