So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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