so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
