wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
