Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
