So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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