Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
