So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
