Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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