Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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