i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize