Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
