I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
