There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
